..and I'm feeling the strain already.
Sensing that I was feeling a little bit stressed Junior put his hand on my shoulder and said "
I know what you need Mummy"
A bit of support? To win the Postcode Lottery? A nice cup of tea? A handsome prince?
"
A nice face massage" smiled Junior with a sympathetic rub of my shoulder.
"I wish!" I scoffed, rolling my eyes to the ceiling.
"
Come with me" winked Junior, leading me through to my bedroom clutching a bottle of Oil of
Ulay (I know it's
Olay now but I still call
Starburst 'Opal Fruits' and Snickers 'Marathons')
I was feeling slightly anxious as Junior plumped up the pillow behind my head and squeezed a healthy sized blob of face cream into the palm of his hand.
"
What are you doing?.." I asked suspiciously, trying to contain my
OCD about anything spilling onto my bedclothes.
"
Just shoosh, Mummy and close your eyes" replied Junior, gently pushing my head in the direction of the plump pillow.
I did as I was told and the next thing I knew I was drifting in and out of
consciousness.
Turns out that Junior was taught how to give facial massages in Primary One. All the kids are shown how to do this to one another during what is called Golden Time. Apparantly it helps with relaxation, class bonding and learning what kind of touch is appropriate. Nice to know the taxpayers money isn't going to waste after all.
He did everything beautifully and with little butterfly touches. He even said all the right things like "
Just feel yourself floating away" and "
All your cares are disappearing"
It was an extraordinary experience and one that reminded me of all the times I gave Junior a massage with baby oil when he was a tiny baby. It used to calm him down before he went to bed and it was something we both enjoyed (although I had to be careful his greasy little body didn't shoot out of my hands like a bar of soap when I lifted him off the changing mat) He used to get what I call the '
thousand mile stare' as I rubbed the massage oil into the fleshy folds of his skin. It was the only time I remember him lying still for longer than 2 seconds.
So, I'm lying there getting my ear lobes rubbed simultaneoulsy (I know! It was
fab) and Junior starts talking like Paul McKenna...
"
Just feel your worries s-l-i-d-e down your face...
down your chubby cheeks and over your big blubbery lips"
I felt a bubble of laughter rise up from my stomach. I tried to hold onto it but it shot up into my shoulders and they started to shake silently. This set Junior off into a fit of wild giggles. He lost all control of his bodily functions, snorting a rather large
snotter onto my eyelid at the same time as letting off the loudest fart.
The spell was broken.
Calling all Bree fans!
